3 Things I’m Not Fooling Myself Into Believing This April

Happy April Fools day!

I don’t know about you, but this year, this particular day is feeling a bit peculiar for me. What is typically a day of laughter and jest has somehow managed to manifest itself into something a bit heavier.

Maybe it’s the product of all the extra introspection this year has provided me (and all of us!) Or perhaps it’s simply the gloomy, rainy Richmond weather putting a damper on my usually somewhat sunny disposition.

Regardless, this April Fools day, instead of a fake snake in the soup or other silly shenanigans, I have decided to take this day to set some much-needed boundaries for myself, my soul, and my sanity.

Here are three things I will no longer be fooling myself into believing, effective immediately.

That I am Not Enough

I can’t help but wonder if every mother struggles with this morbid lie. From the moment I wake up to the second I go to sleep, my day is filled with making sure my family’s needs are met. Whether it’s going out of my way to make my daughter’s birthday extra spectacular or treating my husband to something special, there isn’t a second that goes by in which I’m not trying to ensure everyone’s happiness.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m in no way trying to play the role of the martyr- I do these things because I want to. But why do I still feel SO unsatisfied with my accomplishments by the end of the day? Why do I allow myself to live with that gnawing pit in the bottom of my stomach, constantly insinuating that I could have done more?

Enough. This April, that toxic thought process is going straight into the metaphorical biohazard bin.

That I Have To Compete

Social media is a great way to keep in touch with family and friends, but I think we would ALL be lying if we said that it doesn’t occasionally bring out the green-eyed monster in all of us. I truly believe that comparison is the ultimate contradiction to contentment. It doesn’t matter who went on what vacation, got a new car, a bigger house, a brand new baby. This April, I have decided that I am no longer comparing myself to others- no matter how subconscious it might be.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m happy to see my friends and family achieve new levels of success. But should the success of others suddenly make me feel inadequate? Nope. So into the trash it goes!

That I am Unlovable

This is a tough one. We ALL know that nobody is perfect and seem SO capable of extending that kind of grace to others- but are you also offering it to yourself? I’m not. In fact, I often find my inner-critic naming off all the things that make me unlovable. I’m too anxious, too bossy, too needy, and sometimes a little too quick to snap at the people I care about most.

But do my admitted flaws make me unlovable? No. They make me human. I can see and accept that in other people, and this April, I’m no longer fooling myself into believing that I should somehow be above my biology.

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