Those Foggy Days Of Early Motherhood Are The Ones You’ll Never Forget
I think we can all unanimously agree that the postpartum period is overwhelming. From recovering from childbirth, learning your baby’s cues, tending to your other children if you have them, and running on a total lack of sleep, it can often feel like you’re moving through life in a daze. I’m honestly amazed that I remember anything from those foggy days of early motherhood because, at the time, I was so sure I wouldn’t. Despite everyone eagerly reminding me to “enjoy it” and that “they grow so fast,” I was convinced that my exhausted mind wouldn’t be able to retain any of the memories made during the postpartum era.
When we have a baby, we feel this overpowering sense of urgency to soak up every fleeting moment while it still exists. But let’s be honest, memory isn’t exactly a person’s strong suit when they’re in a perpetual state of exhaustion. We move from task to task like a maternal zombie, feeding, changing diapers, rocking, soothing, shushing, bathing, only to close our eyes for two hours at the end of the day before having to get up and do it all over again. We fly through those early days and weeks, wondering how time can manage to go by so fast while simultaneously feeling so slow. We ask ourselves if we’ll be able to remember these dark, murky mornings of early motherhood. Hell, we don’t even remember what we ate for breakfast.
But here’s the good news, mama. You will remember. It might seem like your mind and memory are failing you at the moment, but your heart is silently filling up an internal filing cabinet labeled “memories to cherish forever.” You might not always remember if you ran the dryer, walked the dog, or paid the electric bill, but here is what you will remember. The way your baby catches your gaze and holds your eyes hostage until they look away. The feeling of your infant suckling at your breast, making you both drowsy with love. The first time your baby smiles, laughs, rolls over, or grabs your finger with their little hands. The way you feel when you put her down at night, and how surprised you are at how quickly you miss her company, despite having looked forward to bedtime all day.
So rest assured, sweet mama. That no matter how tired, forgetful, disheveled, and unorganized you might feel in those first few months, you will remember everything that you are meant to. The chaos of motherhood might make it easy for you to forget some small trivial things along the way, but perhaps we’re wired like that on purpose; to make space for the memories that matter the most. I know those foggy days of early motherhood might look like a shadowy blur when you’re in the thick of it. But one day, you’ll look back and realize that your heart still had 20/20 vision.