Before I delivered my children, I had an image in my head of what it would be like once I brought them into this world. I would get to share them with my family and friends who came to visit us in the hospital. They would take pictures of the new little bundle of joy and everyone would take turns holding the newborn baby. It would be a joyous moment that I would cherish and remember forever.

But that beautiful image that I had created in mind did not transpire like I had planned. I gave birth to my son in 2013 and my daughter in 2015, and both times I ended up facing NICU visits with them for different reasons. My son was five weeks premature and my daughter developed hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). It was so hard to walk down the hallway to the NICU, while I watched the other new moms and their families enjoy their newborns in the maternity ward.

My son spent six long days hooked to wires, fed through his nose and placed under lights for his jaundice. When I finally got to bring him home, I was over the moon with excitement and happiness. I could now hold him in my arms without the complications of moving his IV’s and monitor wires.

Two years later, my daughter was delivered three weeks early and developed hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). She had to be admitted to the NICU to be monitored for five long days. I was back to watching my baby through an incubated bed and not in the comfort of my arms in my hospital room. It was harder the second time around because I did things differently in my pregnancy to ensure that I wouldn’t be at the NICU again. I guess you can only control so much…

It’s all memory now as my son is a lively three-year-old and my daughter will turn one at the end of October. They are both doing great and are very lively munchkins. I know that going to the NICU is not what you plan for, but as a mother that has been there twice, I can assure you that there are ways to make your baby’s stay less overwhelming for yourself and your partner.

Below are five important recommendations that I have for any parent that has newborn in the NICU. I hope this insight can give you some comfort during your newborn’s stay because it won’t be forever even if it feels like it.

1. Use the overnight rooms (Nesting rooms) – The NICU that my little ones were in had ‘nesting rooms’ that you could stay in overnight. I used these rooms for my second one as I was discharged a few days before she was. They were set in a private area of the NICU unit so as not to be awaken by other newborns. I stayed with my daughter because she was a very good at nursing, and I didn’t want to lose that momentum of feeding her overnight. Staying there gives you peace of mind that they are in good hands, but also gives you time to rest while not being too far away from your baby.

2. Surround yourself with loved ones – This is very important to remember when you are going back and forth between your home and the hospital. Be sure to lean on those that love you. It can be your family or close friends, but make sure they are positive and supportive. I had a lot of visitors when my son was in the NICU. It made his stay easier for me because I could visit with them while we enjoyed my son. You will find that no matter where you are, as long as you are surrounded by love then the location doesn’t really matter.

3. Continue some sense of normalcy for yourself – I know it’s hard to imagine continuing a ‘normal’ routine while your newborn baby is in the hospital. I had a hard time not wanting to be with my kids all the time, but I had to give myself a mental refresher as well. I took my dog for a walk, worked out or I made sure to treat myself to a coffee because those are the simple pleasures that I enjoy and I needed. You will get your ‘normal’ back, so it’s good to continue a routine while balancing a baby in the NICU.

4. Take comfort in the Nursing Staff – The nursing staff that assisted with both of my children were absolutely wonderful. The NICU nurses were the ones that taught me how to change a diaper and how to get my daughter to properly latch for breastfeeding. They were not only great resources for understanding your baby, but also a shoulder to cry on if you needed to. I broke down when my second child was in the NICU because all I wanted was a ‘normal’ stay in the hospital. The nurse reassured me that everything would be okay and that my little one was doing great. She even got my little girl out of the NICU bed and let me spend some skin-to-skin time with her that I longed for. I will never forget her efforts, and I am forever grateful for her kindness.

5. Take things day by day – Having both my kids in the NICU really helped me embrace the importance of living day-by-day. I didn’t push the doctor on a definite release date because I knew that I would be disappointed if something caused their stay to be delayed and they didn’t get out on that date. Go into each day as a new one, enjoy each moment and give them all the love you can. When you finally hear the words, “You are going to be discharged today” you will feel the tears of joys, not frustration, and your little one will feel it too.

I hope these tips can help ease your little one’s stay in the NICU. You just have to remember that this is only one small part of their lives. Some days may drag on, but each day brings your closer to having your newborn home with you. Coming from a mother that’s been there twice, I can assure you that you will get through this and that you will get many beautiful moments with your little ones for years to come.

Written by Summer Anderson