I want to preface this article by saying that this piece might not be for you. To all my athletes, people with allergies, restricted diets for ethical or religious reasons, and health conditions that require dietary changes; you got this. We support you. Keep going. But this article is intended for a different crowd. This article is for the woman who looks at her body in the mirror and thinks, “Yuck.” This article is for the woman who covets a certain number on the scale, and figures reaching it will finally set her free. This article is for the belittling nature of diet culture, and we’re ready to call its bluff.

Diets have been around for as long as people realized that praying on the insecurities of women was profitable. Despite doing very little to actually serve and empower women, we still consume these calorie-restricting ideologies ferociously. We try one diet, then another, then “Oh, South Beach!” and “Hmm, Whole 30?” But nothing seems to stick; the only consistency connecting the dots is our disdain for our bodies. Now, I’m not shaming anyone’s participation in these eating plans. My problem is the potentially damaging underlying intent. The unspoken but not-so-subtle message it sometimes sends: you’re not good enough the way you are. 

I really can’t stress how badass it is for women to take control of their health. If cutting carbs or eliminating sugar makes you feel in control and empowered, then that’s awesome. That means your dietary habits are probably coming from a place of self-love, which is most likely why it’s working so well for you. But what about the women who are doing it because they hate their bodies? The women who look in the mirror and see nothing but unworthy, ugly, and unattractive? Diet culture has not and will never serve them, and here’s one of the many reasons why.

When you set your intentions from a negative place, they’re already predestined to fail. If food has been your coping mechanism for your entire life, and you enter a diet with self-deprecating sentiments like “I’m fat. I hate my body. I need to lose weight.” it’s no surprise that these negative thoughts make you want to do the very thing you’re trying to abstain from- over-eat. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy of triggering yourself to do the thing you said you wouldn’t. It’s why diets fail and how new eating plans seem to sweep the internet every few months. It’s the reason why women try regime after regime and still can’t stand to see their own reflection. The problem isn’t that you’re on the wrong diet, or that you’re still too heavy; the problem is the absolute poison that these diets can instill upon our minds. 

Body image has no business in the collective consciousness. When we look to others to affirm how we should look and feel about ourselves, what we’re really saying is, “I’m not capable of establishing and respecting my own boundaries.” Instead, we should focus on setting intentions from a positive place. Imagine if instead of calling yourself fat and hating your figure, you changed the narrative to “I deserve to feel good in my body. I am worthy of positive change. I am worthy, period.” Suddenly, all the social constructs of what you should and shouldn’t be get lifted off your shoulders, and you’re in control. 

So, this Thanksgiving, try uninviting diet-culture from the guest list. After all, it’s presence is quite akin to that rude relative that makes you feel like you’re never good enough. That person isn’t someone you want to be around, and that person definitely isn’t someone you should let live in your head. Instead of counting calories while depriving yourself of pumpkin cheesecake, challenge yourself to find a new mantra. One that actually serves you. One that supports you with words like, “I deserve to be healthy, to thrive and feel confident.” A mantra that dismantles diet-culture by boldly declaring, “The only body I should strive for is one that lets me lead a long and fulfilling life.”