One puts one’s entire being, certainly one’s ego in the position of vulnerable, sacrificial lamb when it comes to step-parenting a child still carrying divorce wounds. That is what one stepmother found to be true for her. And it is likely a truth that resonates for many women put in the awkward position of stepparenting. Stepparenting is generally not a choice, as it often turns out that the chosen partner just happens to come already equipped with a not at all disposable child, or children. There are likely to be many difficulties that are painful, yet surmountable, when it comes to entering a home as a stepparent. The bond between the birth parent and child is often reinforced by the pain of the separation. There is an ‘us against everyone else’ forcefield that can seem impenetrable to a newcomer. There is the child’s loyalty to contend with too. No matter how much the kid likes you, she does not want to see you taking up space that was initially owned by a birth parent. It’s also important to know, no matter how trusted and loved a stepparent can be, she will probably never be the first in line to hear good or bad news, or to be asked important questions. All of the above can be very bittersweet for a stepparent. But, it fails to lesson the potential awesomeness of the job.

Key Takeaways:

• Children develop a special bond with their single parent after a divorce
• It is important to practice undying patience and empathy for the children of divorced parents
• Allow children to be vulnerable with you in their own time

“There is just so much vulnerability that goes into step-parenting a child who has experienced divorce, and it can feel like a swift punch to your ego every time you realize you’re probably never going to be the one they need the most.”

Read more: https://www.scarymommy.com/being-a-stepmom-harder-better-than-expected/