It’s week four of social distancing. You’ve toured every virtual museum from here to Versailles. You’ve tuned in to all the celebrity story hours. You’ve set up sprinklers, slides, swing sets, pools and trampolines that two short months ago you swore you’d never buy. And yet, your kids still have the audacity to tell you that they’re bored. And to be fair, we can’t blame them. After all, we’re bored too.

With empathy in mind, I’m going to make a pretty radical declaration, because I think it’s something we need to hear now more than ever. Despite popular misconceptions, it is not your job to keep your kids entertained 24/7. Sure, as a mother or parent, it is your job to engage your kids, make sure they’re stimulated in a developmentally appropriate manner and keep the lines of communication clear and open. Still, it is not your job to ensure that every moment from the time they wake up to the second they go to bed is fun and fascinating. 

“A child develops best when, like a young plant, he is left undisturbed in the same soil.” – Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness

Believe it or not, by pandering to your children’s boredom, you might be holding them back from unlocking the ultimate antidote to this common predicament: their imagination. Furthermore, by helping your children cultivate this intangible phenomenon, you, as a parent, will be much more likely to ride out the remainder of this quarantine period without losing your mind. But, like most skills, creative play takes practice- and how do you facilitate that practice? By letting them be bored.

According to psychology researcher, Karen Gasper of Pennslyvania State University, boredom is essential because it encourages kids to engage in new activities that they wouldn’t otherwise seek out. In an interview with Fast Company, Gasper stated the following:

“Boredom operates similarly to feeling happy or excited. It results in you trying to approach something that, in this case, is more meaningful or interesting. It encourages people to explore because it signals that your current situation is lacking, so it’s kind of a push to seek out something new.”

Furthermore, boredom will not only encourage your children to become more creative and seek out fresh stimuli, but it will also help foster a strong sense of identity and self-awareness. In an interview with Quartz, child psychologist Lyn Fry said:

“Your role as a parent is to prepare children to take their place in society. Being an adult means occupying yourself and filling up your leisure time in a way that will make you happy. If parents spend all their time filling up their child’s spare time, then the child’s never going to learn to do this for themselves.”

With these critical philosophies in mind, consider granting yourself permission to use this quarantine period as an opportunity to get out of your child’s way! Let them experience their full range of emotions, boredom included, and allow them to navigate such noncritical sensations without your intervention. Not only will they ultimately become more magical and resilient, but you, sweet mama, will finally be able to take a much-needed break.