If we were catching up over coffee, these are just a few of the things I might spill (not including my latte with the triple shot that the toddler tries to smack out of my hand ahem ahem ahem).

1. Being a foster parent has fundamentally changed me as a person.  I feel like being a foster parent has untapped and unlocked doors to feeling I didn’t know I was capable of.  Depths of empathy, care, and concern are all things that have grown tremendously with my experience as a foster parent, and I highly recommend it as a way to engage meaningfully with your community, not as a savior, but as a partner. 
2. THAT FEELING WHEN…you threaten to not take your child to a birthday party if they keep coming out of their bedroom after bedtime.  Holy guacamole, the feeling of dread when I desperately didn’t want said child to actually have to experience the punishment I suggested out of frustration as I bundled them back into bed for the millionth time!
3. I always knew our Australian Shepherd was a real mama at heart, but never more than when my toddler decided she belongs to him and him alone.  Doggie is his; the sun rises and sets with Doggie. Our Aussie is his sun, moon, and stars. All hail Doggie, Queen of his Universe. (Nevermind mama, hah!)
4. It’s been incredibly rainy here where I live this summer; to the point where we’ve barely made it to the splash pad at all!  But so far, in the few trips we’ve been able to make between thunderstorms, I’ve learned it is INFINITELY easier to change a baby on a bench into his swim gear than put him in everything ahead of time and just hope he doesn’t have any potty incidents pre-splash pad.  Bench changing forever!
5. This week marks the week I went through my daughter’s closet and decided yes.  After infertility, IUIs and IVF and having arrived at being a biological and foster parent it’s time.  Time to let go of the cloth diapers my children have outgrown, time to let go of the baby clothes that aren’t my favorites, time to let it all go.  It’s funny — for the longest time, I held onto everything, thinking I would use it again. And while I will (I hope) be a foster or even adoptive parent again in the future, it won’t be to infants; while that may be the strength some find themselves adept at, it isn’t mine.  And for the first time in years, I felt a deep sense of peace. There are still things that bring me pangs of grief; the names that will always be baby names, never used, but names aren’t everything. Being a parent, however you get there — that’s the real soul-stuff of the journey.  And I’m still in that race, even if I’m not in the infant baby game anymore. Life moves on. And I’m ready for whatever lies ahead…and ready for the extra closet space!