Bringing a child into this world is a unique and wonderful experience, unlike any other that you can imagine. It’s not however, something to be entered into quickly or lightly. As a parent in this generation, one thing that I have noticed is how so many parents to be, skip the preparation. I can’t tell you how many friends and colleagues I have seen skip the birthing classes and any preparation only to realize at the moment of birth that they were surely not ready for what was to come. This is not to say that having a baby is scary or traumatizing, however, anything can be scary when you are not prepared for the outcome. Personally, I took all the classes and I read just about all the books (I was a little over zealous) but even than I was learning things along the way I wish I had known sooner.

When I gave birth to my first daughter, I got to the hospital and the first thing they did was give me Pitocin. Now I remembered that word from my classes, but I didn’t remember the possible side effects or that I had every right to say no. As someone who hardly takes any medication, I had significant side effects to the medicine which ended up leading me down a very different path than I had planned. Which brings me to the birthing plan. Many people believe that how your child comes into this world will affect their personality and nature throughout their lives. Whether you want to give birth at home, at the hospital or in a birthing center, this is a very personal decision and should be planned out well ahead of time. You want to reduce as much stress as you can during this time. It will already be exciting and scary but any levels of stress you have racing through your body during the time of birth will also be racing through your child. High levels of stress can affect the babies breathing, heart rate and many other things. Some things that you can do to prepare and ensure a pleasant birth include the following:

Create a birth plan.

A birth plan doesn’t have to be anything fancy, notarized or even shared with anyone but your doctor. It is simply an idea for how you would like your baby’s birth to go. Here is where you can list medications you will be open to receiving or not, whether you want to have a natural birth or where you want to give birth. I kept my birthing plan with me in a journal (where I also kept track of all the ups and downs of my pregnancy). I listed who I wanted in the room, that I wanted a natural birth and that I wanted music playing. You also can list alternatives if things change or any surprises arises that way you are prepared for whatever may happen. One thing to remember is that there is always a chance for things to go a different way than planned. If we are prepared, then the level of stress and fear that we feel during these times of disruption will be greatly diminished creating a much more pleasant and calm experience.

Know your body

I cannot stress enough that you know your body better than anyone else. Remember that the doctors are there to help you, but they are often seeing many patients at once and may not always keep your birth plan or specific beliefs in mind. It is important that you remind them of your birth plan and what may affect you differently than others. It’s also important to know that you have a right to make your own decisions. It’s okay to say no and it’s okay to state what you want and need during this time. This also applies to the days after birth when you are still recovering and learning about your new baby.

Meet your treatment team

There is nothing worse than to arrive at the hospital to find that your doctor, the one who has guided you and been with you through out this long 9 months, is unavailable. Many practices have more than one doctor and they rotate on call, so if it happens that you go into labor at an odd time of the night, it’s highly probable you won’t get your doctor. Rotate your appointments during your pregnancy, this way you get to meet the other doctors available and won’t feel caught off guard. It’s also helpful to go to the hospital if that’s where you choose to give birth and meet the team. I assure you they will be glad to speak with you.

There are so many decisions that go into the process of bringing life into the world. I cannot stress enough how important it is to know what you want for yourself and your child. Will you nurse or bottle feed? Do you want to save the umbilical cord? Do you believe in delayed cord clamping or blood banking? All decisions you have to make prior to or right after the birth of your baby and you don’t get second chances.

Once we are pregnant, everything we do as a mother matters. Whether it is the food we eat, exercise we get or books we read to prepare. Those first 9 months your child is getting their nourishment, personality, and safety from you. Being prepared and making the decision to enter into this amazing process of life will ensure that you and your baby to have the best experience possible. It will increase the safety of your child, reduce your stress level and allow you to really focus on whats important. Now, that is not to say any one way is right. What is important is that you sit down and really think about what you want for your child as a parent.