10 Best Lies to Tell Your Kids When Halloween Candy Mysteriously Goes Missing

  1. Those Kit-Kats were dangerously expired  I had no choice but to dispose of them.  It was for your own good. I love you that much, sweetie!
  2. You’re allergic to Peppermint Patties, don’t you remember sweetie?  I had no choice but to remove them from your pumpkin bucket.  (This one is really long-lasting and beneficial beyond just one Halloween!  Bonus Peppermint Patties for you forever!)
  3. A poor little ghost came to the house after you went to bed and asked for candy.  He was very specific about it needing to be some candy from your bucket.  Little guy said something about coming back to haunt our family if I didn’t give him those Cow Tails.
  4. 3 Musketeers promote violence, and you know in this family we don’t condone that sort of thing.
  5. You’re five years old and you should remember the rules of Halloween by now: you have to leave five pieces of candy out for the Midnight Witches after you go to bed.  I saw you’d forgotten, so I did it, and look!  The Midnight Witches came down the chimney and took those five pieces of candy while you were sleeping, just like the picture books said!  No, no, I’m not mistaken, Santa takes the cookies you leave out, the Midnight Witches take candy from your pumpkin bucket, it’s a thing, it’s totally a thing, you must not have been paying attention during our Halloween story time.
  6. You just counted wrong sweetie, nothing’s missing, no that’s not a Snickers wrapper in the trash.
  7. Grandma, it was totally your grandma, definitely not anyone any more maternal than that.
  8. What are gummy fruit snacks?  I’ve never even heard of those.  You must be imagining!  Would you like some fruits as a snack?  Let’s eat some healthy blueberries together.  Yay fruit snack!
  9. There are some candies out there that turn into pumpkins at the stroke of midnight, just like the carriage in Cinderella.  It’s why Halloween is pumpkin-themed.
  10. Mphno idea kidth ith a mythery *says through full mouth of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups*

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