You’re busy. I’m busy. It’s hard to make time for chats with friends. But wouldn’t it be nice if we could share a cup of tea, just you and me, to talk about how mama life is going these days?

So…why not right here, right now? Okay, we’ll have to each pop our own kettles on in our own kitchens. But the bright side is, if our houses are filthy neither of us will know!

If we were sharing tea in my kitchen…I’d confess over my cup of Earl Grey that I fear that I am never going to be enough for this little girl of mine. I fear that I will always, always, always struggle to listen when I need to listen, to hold her when she needs to be held, to say the right thing. I think of all the ways I might let her down, might try and fail to be the mother she needs at a given moment. I fear that she is so wonderfully wild, so fierce, that I will never be enough.

If we were chatting today…I’d share this recent discovery: I’ve discovered that dancing around singing with my toddler about how we’ve gotta shake, shake, shake our sillies out is the absolute best. I always used to roll my eyes when people talked about impromptu dance parties. I don’t have a shred of rhythm (can rhythm be measured in shreds? I don’t know! That’s how little I have!)–dancing has never been my thing. So impromptu dance parties sounded so absurdly not fun! Turns out, they’re anything but. An impromptu dancer party is delightful! Who knew?! (Everyone except me, I guess!) So now every time my little girl grabs my hands and we dance in the living room, shaking our sillies out and jumping our jiggles out, I laugh and laugh, because it’s so not me. Or so wasn’t me. Now, apparently, this is me! Motherhood changes the strangest parts of life sometimes, often in the silliest ways.

There are other things I’d spill (but not my tea!) as we sat together chatting about motherhood these days…. I’d confess that I dread having to figure out potty training, and keep putting it off and putting it off. Every time a lull in the schedule appears, I think about writing in big bold letters POTTY TRAINING on the family kitchen calendar, and then hold off, until suddenly the empty space is full, and we couldn’t possibly do potty training then, we have a trip, I have a conference, we have plans that cannot possibly be complicated by potty training. I know it’s gotta happen sooner or later, but I confess that I’m just kicking that can down the road sometimes by filling up the social calendar a little. It just seems so hard! I want to bask in the glow of diapers just a tiiiiiiny bit longer before everything goes to….well, you know.

If we were in my kitchen with our mugs of steaming tea…I’d tell you what’s been hard lately: My daughter’s best buddy ev-er right now is my husband. He’s begun working longer days for a 4-day workweek, so he ends up with an extra day all to himself with her. Those two are thick as thieves now, and the other day she spouted off everyone who would be someplace special we were going, leaving me out of the list entirely. I’m trying to remind myself that this is because I’m a given, I’m assumed, I’m so a part of her world that I’m not an afterthought but the before-she-even-thought-about-it-thought. It’s still hard lately to work through this Not The Favorite Parent stage. (Oh please let it be a phase and not forever!)

As we set our mugs into the sink…I’d tell you one last thing that I wish I could tell every mom ever, but especially you, since we’re the ones chatting: “You are enough,” I would say. I need to tell myself this all the time, so I want to tell you here too, right along with me. You are enough. You are enough. You are enough, mama.

How about you? What are your fears, your triumphs, your hard stuff, your smiles? What one thing would you tell other mamas here, if you could?