I’d love to start this off with a major “just kidding” plot twist that would negate the title completely. But, no such luck! You read it right … I pooped while giving birth. I know what you might be thinking:  “That’s disgusting!” “I would never admit that!” “Does this mean I’m going to make a bowel movement during my delivery??!!” The good news is that not every woman shares this experience. There’s a chance that you won’t end up like me! However, I’m here to tell you that it’s absolutely okay if you do.  It’s a common occurrence that your doctors and delivery nurses have seen time and again. Even though I admittedly took a dump as I was ushering my sweet little prince into the world, I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything.

I remember asking my parents all about the exciting moments of my birth as a little girl. I explicitly asked my mom, “If you have to push so hard, what’s stopping you from pooping on yourself?” My parents locked eyes and burst into laughter. Though they didn’t answer my question, that was clear foreshadowing to that fateful day when the torch would be passed to me. Little did I know, I was on to something.  It turns out we use the same muscles during delivery as we do to pass bowels. That, combined with all the added pressure of an 8 lb baby, is a recipe for poop during childbirth. In my young mind, this sounded like the most shameful disaster. However, 20 years later, I discovered that there are far worse embarrassments out there for me.

My labor was generally uneventful, which I’m thankful for. I spent about eight hours laying down in a hospital bed, relaxed, really just trying my best to pass the time.  When I was ready to push, the nurses told me to bear down with all my might—like I had to poop! I followed their instructions to the best of my ability and noticed that every time I pushed, they wiped. They told me not to let up!  I had no clue what was going on and their faces never gave it away.  My partner, bless him, was even too preoccupied with the impending birth of our son that he didn’t even crack a joke (until after the delivery was over). By the time I realized I was crapping everywhere, I noticed that literally, nobody in the room cared. They acted as if it were perfectly natural (because it is) and if they weren’t acknowledging it, I darn sure wasn’t going to bring it to their attention!

Comforting a newborn, breastfeeding, and diapering quickly took over any thought I’d given to pooping on the delivery table. The truth is that, compared to the major life change that had just taken place, the event seemed rather small. I was soon to be covered in someone else’s poo, pee, and spit-up. I no longer had time to think of myself. Being open about my experience during delivery has helped me keep that precious moment in my memory. Although it was nearly three years ago, I still remember giving birth to the most important human being in my life. That makes it all worth it.

There’s no wrong way to give birth. We can create birthing plans, pack and repack our overnight bags, and agonize over the correct way to insert the car seat all we want.  Some things won’t go according to plan and that’s okay. Motherhood is all about embracing the unexpected. Pooping on the birthing table—though embarrassing—taught me not to sweat the small stuff and enjoy the constant roller coaster of parenting. The birth of your baby will be a beautiful and unique moment that will exceed your wildest dreams no matter what.