Cheers, mama. The year that left most people saying “What was that?!” is over. Now you get to welcome in a new year with cautiously optimistic expectations and see what turns this wild ride will take next. It is worth noting (and celebrating) the superhuman powers of mothers everywhere who navigated the changes to EVERY aspect of ordinary life last year all while managing the many demands of raising up tiny humans. To say mamas need to focus on themselves a little this year would be an understatement. So take a step back, set the bar low, and give yourself some space to breathe this year, mama. You deserve it.

Set a goal of survival

It feels like lofty goals and motivated resolutions are popping up all over social media and the advertising world, assuring you that this is your year and the time to change is now. You might even feel as though you have to embrace and flaunt your own fitness goal, career aspiration, or trendy hobby…but Mama, I am here to tell you, if even the idea of these aspirations is exhausting, that is OKAY. Motherhood is a 24/7 totally immersive job and if flipping your calendar doesn’t magically give you newfound motivation (or 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep), it is perfectly acceptable to set your goal for the year as merely survival. Put those massive, overwhelming goals to rest and hold the baby all day if that’s what he needs, order takeout again, and learn just how many days you can use dry shampoo. This is the year of survival, and you’re already rockin’ it.

Embrace the mess

Have you ever spent your entire day cleaning up after others only to feel like everything is a mess again by the time you crawl into bed at night? We’ve all been there, mama. This year, give yourself the grace to let it go. Because the dirty little secret of dishes, toys, laundry, and sticky fingerprints is that they always come right back, no matter how much time and energy you spend eliminating them. Sure, keep up with some basic tasks so your home doesn’t descend into chaos, but learn to get comfortable with never having it all clean, all at once, and vow to not let chores take up your last reserves of time and energy. Don’t make yourself late getting out the door because you think the beds have to be made. Delegate tasks and let the kids put the towels in the closet the “wrong” way. And let the dishes sit in the sink tonight so you can spend some quality time on the couch with your partner and some ice cream after the last tiny tornado goes to bed. Your home is a busy, vibrant, constantly moving space where you live, so let it be authentic and lived-in.

Savor their littleness

The year ahead may seem like a never-ending cycle of feeding, dressing, and redirecting tiny people who only seem motivated to make messes and avoid sleep, but by next New Year’s they will be a whole year older and different in so many ways. These early years go by so fast, mama, and every day they are a little older and a little less dependant, even if you don’t see it happening. So while you work on surviving, don’t forget to stop and watch the incredible little people in front of you. You might even dare to see the world through their eyes for a minute, bright, exciting, and new. Savor that littleness and its simplicity, its laughter, and its joy; the days might be long, but the years sure are short.