Ah yes, it’s the most wonderful time of the year —  a time of breathless wonder, if by breathless we mean staggering heaving breathless through the airport in hopes of making it through TSA with the kids and baby and then breathlessly taking off into the air while hoping and praying and crossing your fingers that putting that baby on your boob will keep them quiet the whole trip, breathlessly arriving exhausted at your inlaws’ front stoop! FUN FOR ALL! And then you realize you still have to feed the baby, and everyone is trying to get you to (heavens) hide in a room. If you’ve come prepared, you’re ready to catch up without being stowed away in one of the following locations you might find yourself shuttled off:

1. Your Inlaws’ Bedroom: This is the most popular offering, and features an array of old wedding photos of your inlaws, your father-in-law’s pajamas draped over the chair where you’d like to sit, and a scented candle that smells like Aggressive Honeysuckle.
2. The Office: Ah yes dear, just scooch over that pile of YOUR WINDOWS PC FOR DUMMIES books dating back to 1998 and you can find a place to sit! So sorry we forget to empty the litter box before you got here, but the Ocean Breeze air freshener will hopefully help (spoiler alert: it will not help).
3. Your Partner’s Childhood Room: Yes, this room has been kept like a MUSEUM for nigh the last two decades, complete with framed prom photos and their collection of CDs they decided not to bring to with them to college when they moved out. Signature scent: mothballs.
4. The Bathroom. Which, RUDE.
5. The Guest Room: Okay, this might not be so bad. If this is your option, take a nap, you earned it!