Postpartum Halloween Rules
If someone suggests you go as a pumpkin because you still look pregnant because bodies are bodies and not spring-right-back-into-place elastic, you have permission to never speak to that person again.- You, as bearer of children, have first dibs on the good stuff.
- If you wish to sit in the car to nap during Trunk or Treat, you absolutely get to.
- No seriously, take a nap!! You have earned it!!
- Okay fine, if you want to see the little rugrats all dressed up in their Halloween finery, that is understandable; make sure you get your partner to take lots of pictures with you in them, too — you no doubt have earned this too, Halloween costume magic is no joke, and alas, more work than magic!
- If you dress as a witch, breastfeeding is extra fun because you can make the joke (weather permitting, or honestly, even if it’s not) that it’s cold as a witch’s…well, you know. 😉
- Some people may not offer the parent shepherding the little children around any candy, and this is criminal, and they are Bad People whose houses should be cursed forevermore! *witchy cackle*
- Is that a full-sized Snickers bar? It is yours!
- These rules may all sound selfish and a little self-congratulatory to those who have not had to keep their kid(s) alive, especially if you breastfed and keeping kids alive involved using your physical body — no hate to those without children who celebrate Halloween (it’s a fun holiday!), but the experience of Halloween as a mother, for me, has been extraordinarily different from that of when I was not a parent. It’s fun — more fun, for me — to introduce kids to this whole new world of the holiday, making it as spooky and silly as I like. But it’s also hard! It is hard to live in a world where as a mother I am expected to go to extraordinary lengths to create (ideally from scratch) the more unique and creative Halloween costume of my child’s dreams, no matter how tired I am, no matter how low my resources are, no matter how little time I have. Much like, now that I think about it, breastfeeding was; when I struggled with my supply after returning to work, I felt enormous pressure to keep breastfeeding as I had prior to returning to work (at an abysmal 6 weeks postpartum), despite the stress, and my own body’s inclinations to, well, not. This isn’t to say that the end results — amazing costumes, fed babies — aren’t intrinsically good. They are! But the pressure I feel around Halloween as a parent definitely mirrors the pressure I felt in other areas of early motherhood, and for that, I am always just a tiny bit rebellious. My body, my bank account and my time are not infinite resources. So this year when my daughter asked to be a very work-intensive thing, I gently suggested something else more within reach that I wouldn’t be punishing myself to complete. And you know what? It’s fine. She’s happy. I’m happy.
- All the Reese’s are yours, too. No matter what your motherhood or breastfeeding journey looks like, I’m positive you’ve earned ‘em.
