Blessed be ye, o Mothers during these last days of summer, may ye not lose your minds over cranky toddlers, clingy sweaty babes in arms, and the knowledge of our own fleeting mortality intertwined with back to school shopping. May your schools all post supply lists early and completely, and never re-posting with a cheerful “oops forgot to add these from Miss Krista’s class!!” two weeks after you hit that tax-free weekend of shopping sales.  

May your children’s feet not grow even so much as a hair before the first day of school, lest the new shoes no longer fit, and be ye not dismayed when random preferences suddenly occur, resulting in the young thing pronouncing she does not LIKE glitter and would like high tops with, quote, “light ups” which you think is the kind of shoe that lights up but are informed as though you were a peasant that no, light ups, those are different mama, and yet will give you no further information whatsoever so as to allow you to unravel this mystery of the universe.

Let this blessing be as a shield to protect you from a war in the lunch box aisle over that last My Little Pony one, and may you find sweaters in all the right sizes in the most non-scratchy fabric at the thrift store.  

May you find nursing spots aplenty in Target, and may you have friends remind you that Nordstrom has like, a really great nursing lounge situation.  Keep these friends closer than your own nursing bra. Share this blessing with them, and promise to pass on this information to all new nursing mamas you know who find themselves wandering the mall in search of H&M Kids and the forever-everything-70%-off-sale places, hashtag #RIPGymboree.  

Let this blessing keep your cool when that guy gives you the evil eye for daring to nurse in public as you all get ice cream cones to escape the oppressive heat of your house, that house you have hidden in all summer, because nursing in public can be so annoying — not because of the nursing itself, but dude bros exactly like this one, with his too-small ballcap and his googly eyes, as though he doesn’t remember he too once needed to be fed by a loving mother at one point.  May this blessing give you the courage to glare him the heck down and enjoy your ice cream, and maybe even order seconds, because to heck with him, you’re gonna make yourself at home here.

May you make it to the end of the summer with your sanity at least somewhat in one piece.  You’ve got this.