This is it, mama.

That nod that you’ve maybe unconsciously been waiting for.

The Look that says, do it.

The whispered word, “Yes.”

The waffles for dinner?

Yes.

The skipped day of school for a special mom-and-kid date?

Yes.

The bribe of candy.

Yes.

The screen time.

Yes.

All those things that everyone says are going to ruin your child or mess them up, I pinky-swear, this time, it is not going to break them.  Every day, sure, okay, maybe waffles for dinner would be a less-good choice. But there are times when the veggies can be skipped, the teeth-brushing can be forgotten, the screen time indulged.  We all have the ways we wish to parent, but what it all boils down to is preference; you can raise a kid a way, but it’s no guarantee. Because that’s the thing — there are no guarantees in life about anything.  You can do everything you can to wind up with a semblance of the result you envision, but there’s no promise it’ll happen. It might. It might not. Maybe your child will develop an unhealthy screen time relationship.  Maybe they won’t, for example. Ditto that and relationships with food. Or each other. Oh my gosh, the many ways we try to set our kids up for good relationships with siblings and friends, and it’s all a calculation, a hope, a prayer.  

And this time?  One time isn’t going to break the larger things you’re trying to teach your children.  Even twice. Or whatever.

I’m not saying all parents are akin to doctors or other professionals.  Advice is good. Heeding it is generally a good idea when the speaker is credible!  But raising children is also this blend of try and fail and fairy dust and luck of the draw, a spin of the wheel.  

You’re not going to ruin their lives with the small things.  

Worry about the hard stuff.  The tough stuff. The stuff that can break a person.  Kindness. Empathy. Respect. Love. Justice.

But this is your parenting permission slip to do whatever the heck you want and feel no shame about not being the perfect standard about everything.  Those things aren’t the things worth fighting for.

This is it.  The nod. The whisper.  The word. You’re doing fine, they’re doing fine, if you’re parenting with kindness and respect, I’m pretty sure it’ll all come out in the wash in the end.