Ahh, Halloween.  The smell of crisp apples and leaves in the air; pumpkin spice everything; and children refusing my fantastical family Halloween costume ideas left and right.  I say we should all go as the characters from Mary Poppins, but noooo, the children want to be Dalmatians and I have to be Cruella de Vil. But, because I’m a super mom (say it again louder for the kids in the baaaack) I’m doing it.  The problem though is that my head is chock-full of good family costume ideas, and realistically, my family isn’t going to put up with it forever, right? Eventually the children might grow up and leave and then it’ll just be me knocking about an old house with my unused Halloween costume ideas.  And so, dear reader, please take these and run with them as my children run screaming from me because they don’t cherish my opinions (ahemmmm):

Murakami Novels: Each person can go as a common element of Murakami novels!  Cats!  Mysterious Woman!  Urban Ennui!

Historically accurate breastfeeding mother and children!:  Lots of artwork to choose from here, folks.  Bonus: makes feeding mid-Trick-or-Treating super easy.

Oliver!: What’s more classic than Dickens?  Go as Fagin, Nancy, Oliver and other young thieving scoundrels (Artful Dodger et al).  You just might scare the dickens out of everyone…

Parks & Rec characters: Bring the family dog along as Lil’ Sebastian, obviously.  And don’t forget to [Trick-or] Treat yourself.

A Raffi concert: Raffi, a Baby Beluga, a little red wagon, and Mr. Sun.  Carry around speakers with a Raffi soundtrack to really tie the performance together.  It’ll be like a night of Raffi karaoke! (For the record, my kids would love this but my partner is the one running screaming from Raffi, crying, please no more, no more Raffi!)

Overdue Library Books: Everyone has a favorite book, and everyone has had the horror of realizing there are overdue books accruing fines on one’s library’s card (present company of librarian not excluded, oooooops).  Everyone dress up as your favorite book with a big overdue notice, eeeeek! The horror, the horror.

Family LOTR: Pick your tall characters for your tall people, Hobbits or Dwarves for your short ones, and presto!  Instant classic.

Classic Computer Horrors: This is one adults will love: Go as Clippy, an endless spinning rainbow beachball, a blue screen of death, and like…..whatever horrifies you most when you think of your early Internet days.  The children won’t even understand what’s so scary when the neighbors scream in horror!

Giant noise-making toys: Everyone dreads the gift-giving event that prompts Great Aunt Mildred to gift the noisiest, loudest, most screeching toy ever upon one’s children.  Now dress up as those horrors!

And my favorite: a family of LEGO bricks, and one giant foot.  You know the horror of stepping on LEGO pieces.  Now re-enact the scene on every doorstep!

Happy Halloween!