My daughter was born in July, and (heat stroke pregnancy aside) it’s the beeeest.  But it also means hosting a gaggle of hot, sweaty children who have no concept of “dehydration” or “don’t touch that AC unit by the side of the house, you’ll lose a finger, kid.”  Lucky for them (and you!) I’ve got TIPS. Behold, these summer birthday sanity savers, curated for you from the wisdom I’ve gained with four summer birthday parties securely under my belt.

Popsicles popsicles popsicles.  Buy a box of those popsicle sticks, toss (METAPHORICALLY only) a pair of kid scissors in the mix, and just be sure to freeze those suckers (hah) two nights before and you’re golden and will be viewed as the goddess you are by the younglings.  Don’t even bother with cake.  They. will. not. notice. its. Absence.

Set up a sprinkler or rent a glorious inflatable water slide.  Either of these have the benefit of 1) very little work on your part and 2) they become self-perpetuating activities.  The key here is that there aren’t many specific games you have to lead with either; you set it up, it is fun, they have the fun.  Adults can sit in the shade and observe and be ready with towels when waters gets in eyes and mingles with that sunscreen in that special annoying way, and then kids can run off and do it all over again.  Because you know what’s worse than having to sweat your way through a game of whatever it is kids play? Nothing. (Well, okay, plenty, but still. LEAVE ME TO SWEAT IN PEACE, CHILDREN!) When it’s hot hot hot, leading games is something you want not not not to do.  (See what I did there?) Bonus of the water slide: very appealing to brave adults who want to cool down, too. We had one parent text the one who stayed home telling them to grab a swimsuit and get over here to this party STAT. Either way, your lawn will get very, very watered, whether you like it or not.  Which, bonus!

Bathmats.  If your summer party involves water (see above) go ahead and purchase some extra cheapo bathmats for your entrance/exit doors to your home.  You will thank yourself (and me!). And in the end, you wind up with an extra bathmat or two, which isn’t the end of the world. Happy birthday to…you!

Metal tubs.  My husband and I purchased 3 neon green metal tubs for our wedding for holding drinks, and let me tell you, those tubs have been the best purchase of our life.  Cars? Meh. Home? Whatever. METAL TUBS. These things will serve you so well, you’ll name them The Butlers. Things they can serve for summer birthdays include but are not limited to: water balloons; ice; popsicles; sunblock bottles (a favor parents will love!); drinks for kids; drinks for adults (wink wink); flip flops taken off for the pool, sprinkler, bounce house/slide, etc.; MORE popsicles; applesauce pouches; apples for bobbing; towels; extra bathmats…  The list is endless, and these are going to be your summer party workhorses for years. Buy the tubs. Register for tubs for birthday, weddings, baby showers, christenings, you name it. The answer is: metal tubs.

Applesauce pouches. Cool, nutritious, somewhat hydrating-ish, non-messy, these are the PERFECT outside party snack to, erm, counterbalance all those popsicles.

Sunblock. Don’t forget yourself!  Says the mom with very pink calves.  Sigh. Better luck for birthday #5 next year!