I love summertime.  I mean, who doesn’t?  Come onnnnnn. It’s awesome — popsicles and pools and jorts, what more could a girl want?

Fine, a personal bubble of air conditioning at all times would be nice.  But I don’t see that happening, so I’ll bask in all the other summery things that ARE good, and try not to think too hard about unattainable goal.

But let’s be honest, the thing about summer is that it’s the ultimate opportunity to be lazy.  If there’s one thing I don’t want to do, it’s truck sticky, hot kids around to too many fun-tivities on my days off.  Summertime is for relaxing, so I’m here with some tips for how to maximize that summer fun without maximizing your stress.

1. Summer-long ice cream madness.  I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice-cream March Madness But Not In March!  This summer we’ll be testing all the ice cream, gelato and popsicle/cold treat joints in town and pitting them against each other in a fight to be the summer treat champion.  Who will win!? Only time will tell.
2. Wash That Thing.  Why invest in an expensive, plastic water table when you could fill up a bucket and toss in a sponge and declare it Wash The ______ day?  Tricycles, wagons, baby swings, hubcaps, all are welcome at Wash The ______ day! Even porches and decks are welcome. No unnecessary plastic toys needed.  It’s a chore disguised as fun! Swab that deck, mateys. Arrr.
3. Catch the chicken.  This really only works if you have a chicken, but if you do, instructing the kids to catch said chicken is a great time-suck.  Note: this only works with friendly, unruffled chickens. Do not attempt activity with mean chickens, or chickens that don’t like to endure a little chase in exchange for mealworms.  But dang if it isn’t good ol’ entertainment for all involved. And educational! You should always know how to catch and hold a chicken, in my estimation. The downside to this is that players get more skilled as the summer progresses, so by the end of summer, it’s probably downright boring.  Next step: finding a way to make Clean The Henhouse into a game. Hmmmm…
4. Return the books to the library machine!  Does your library have a machine that takes the books in through a conveyor belt?  If you do and you aren’t letting your children feed those books into the RETURN MONSTER what are you waiting for?!
5. Hopscotch.  My daughter has fallen in love with hopscotch and will literally spend an hour playing it.  And my daughter is not a fan of solo play! Sometimes the old-fashioned games can be the best.

The things I always look for in a summer activity boil down to the following:

• Minimal need to learn something new on my end (directions to a new place, rules to a new complicated game, etc)
• Ability to watch from a seated position
• Ability to watch from a hammock (optimal)
• Can this activity be dragged out a ridiculous amount of time in order to suck up time that I would otherwise be annoyed at having to figure out how to spend?

If something checks any or (ideally!) all of these particulars, then you my friend have found the perfect lazy family summer activity.  Now go forth (or don’t!) and enjoy!