1. Jaws.

JK JK JK!  Okay, in all seriousness, if screen time isn’t your thing, that’s totally understandable.  However, if you find yourself under a baby (and possibly stuck) and wish to partake of some film-y indulgence, I’ve got some recommendations.  *cracks knuckles*

Firstly, these are all available streaming on Netflix, because you’re stuck under a baby and aren’t going to go rooting around in the closet for that DVD that’s there SOMEWHERE you just KNOW you watched it a few years ago, and you wouldn’t have done anything else with it, so it’s just GOT to be there (why isn’t it there, then?!)…  And while I would LOVE to link you to a million individual Eddie Izzard comedy segments on YouTube, you need to do minimal clicking around right now, right?  Right.

Nope, all of these are items you’re going to find as long as you’ve got access to your Netflix account with minimal moving (full disclosure, I spent a lot of my maternity leave breastfeeding time watching SNL episodes on Netflix, but those are gone now, alas, so those aren’t on this list, but they were GREAT because individual sketches were so short and required minimal commitment and investment).  Also, they’re not overly involved, so you’re not going to lose the plot, it’s not going to be too loud and crazed and, uh, raw (sorry Always Sunny, I love you but you can’t make this cut) and you’re not going to find yourself emotionally sobbing into your baby’s onesie because of too many sad bits.  I gotchoo covered!

1. (For real this time!) First Position. This ballet documentary will keep you quietly entertained while emotionally invested in the stories of several young, talented dancers.  Bonus: nice music!  You might cry but in, like, a good way!
2. The Great British Baking Show. While you’re feeding someone else, daydream of feeding yourself!
3. Whale Rider. Okay you might cry a little, but it’s a lovely film for cuddling up quietly.  After all, what’s better than watching a movie about a young powerful woman than when you’re literally feeding a tiny baby with your powerful body?
4. Twinsters. This is another documentary (I’m a documentary fanatic, what can I say?) — and it’s a delight and also interesting as heck if you’re into delving into nature versus nurture and sibling relationships.
5. 10 Things I Hate About You. I mean, it’s there!!!  You really can’t go wrong here.
6. BONUS: Cool Runnings. COOL RUNNINGS.  You want to feel empowered and inspired, you want to watch Cool Runnings while you overcome your obstacles, oh yes you do.

I know there can be a lot of back and forth about screen time, but for me at least, I am confident in the screen time decisions I made regarding my daughter’s first year or so, in conjunction with my needs as a human parent in need of a mental break now and then.  I think more than anything, parenting has taught me to make the best decisions I can for me and my family, and sometimes that meant chilling with my baby at my breast and a podcast or movie playing on my phone.  Sometimes it meant snuggling together with Bon Iver in the background.  Sometimes it meant snuggling together with SNL in the background.  Sometimes it meant snuggling together with nothing but the sound of us, there, in a nursery, with the creak-creak-squeak of a glider going back and forth.  Sometimes, it just meant surviving 30 minutes with my sanity in-tact.  And I did.  While I’m no longer breastfeeding my daughter, I’m glad for the snuggly moments we had together…and equally glad for the sanity-saving SNL/documentary/feel-good movie moments I had to re-balance myself and my mind through it all.

We’re all doing the best that we can.