Ahh, maternity leave.  That long (sometimes) stretch of time we (sometimes) get to see on the horizon as a pregnancy draws to its end.  Nine months of baking a tiny human is a lot to undergo, but maternity leave — well, that’s just a huge, blank canvas for a new mom.  If you’re used to a 40-hour-a-week work schedule, then the prospect of several weeks (sometimes) off is a thing of wonder, of mystery, of endless possibilities.  And dads/non-gestational partners, you too!  Your family leave (if you get any) is a totally magical swath of unfettered time awaiting you!  Imagine the possibilities.  They are limitless!

Here’s a list of possible things one might plan to do with one’s maternity leave prior to having a baby. Go ahead, feel free to steal them, these are free ideas!

• Start an Etsy business
• Brush up on a foreign language, or learn a new one from scratch!
• Finally write that novel
• Start a podcast to rival Serial
• Try those new recipes you pinned forever ago
• Learn to code
• Finally read that classic book you’ve been meaning to read forever

If those ideas aren’t tickling your fancy, I have more.  For reference, here is a list of what I actually did on my maternity leave:

• Cry
• Not sleep
• Pump
• Laundry
• Feed my baby
• Binge-watch SNL on Netflix during feeds, and that show where this British ginger bachelor pretended to be Prince Harry while dating a lot of bubbly-but-not-very-bright women who thought they were dating Prince Harry — it was a total trainwreck y’all, and even now I’m not 100% sure I didn’t imagine the whole thing in my sleep-deprived-maternity-leave fever dream
• Eat lots of box mac-n-cheese and canned soup

Turns out (surprise!) maternity leaves are not sabbaticals, or vacations, despite the whole “not being at work” thing!  Which, if you’re reading this, you probably know already. But it bears repeating: women who get to have maternity leave are working hard at healing their bodies and caring for their new babies. You do not have to feel guilty that you didn’t accomplish more than that!

That’s it.  Really.  You don’t have to pressure yourself to do other stuff.  Ditto for non-gestational partners.  Healing or helping to heal and adjusting to a new little human are the only things you need to accomplish.  Learning how to be a parent to a newborn is the biggest challenge you should set yourself up to mastering during maternity or paternity leave.  Fluff up the couch cushions, charge your Kindle with stuff you can enjoy while being sleep-deprived (if you can manage that long put-off classic, great, but also maybe that fluffy YA romance is a good choice!  I highly recommend some Rainbow Rowell) and allow yourself to master the art of parenting a newborn, without the pressure of making the time “count” more.  It counts.  It counts tremendously to use the time for couch snuggles and soothing and cleaning pump parts.  It counts, it counts, it counts.

So, the next time someone asks what you accomplished on your leave, and you think, ‘Um, I just barely accomplished keeping myself and my baby alive,’ know that’s exactly, 100%, totally and completely what that time is meant for.  Everything else is gravy.