Category Archives: Features

10 Best Lies to Tell Your Kids When Halloween Candy Mysteriously Goes Missing

Those Kit-Kats were dangerously expired  I had no choice but to dispose of them.  It was for your own good. I love you that much, sweetie! You’re allergic to Peppermint Patties, don’t you remember sweetie?  I had no choice but to remove them from your pumpkin bucket.  (This one is really long-lasting and beneficial beyond just one Halloween!  Bonus Peppermint Patties

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This Is Me Absolving You For Choosing The Store-Bought Halloween Costume

I see you there, browsing Pinterest, Instagram, and the rest of the Parenting Dark Net of perfectly detangled children frolicking in leaf-piled lawns in agonizingly “so simple!” homemade costumes.  If you’re anything like me, you’re probably tallying all the steps that coordinated Back to the Future family costume set would require. On one hand, the payoff looks great: the approval,

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A List of Errands I Will Invent as Necessary in a Desperate Bid to Get Us Out of the House: A Toddler Mom Memoir

Target: This is the obvious one, the low-hanging fruit on the consumerism-as-desperate-bid-for-focused-house-escape list. Pro: They will definitely have cute cardigans to browse while I look for the things I came in for (ostensibly not cardigans, but who’s really keeping track here). Con: Cashiers are going to think, “That lady really should keep a list or something, why is she here

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