I remember the first time I breastfed in public. My son was just shy of 4 weeks old, and I met a friend for coffee. As we looked for seats, she asked if I wanted to sit in the corner. I knew what she was asking (without actually asking it): do you want some privacy for when you have to whip out your boob?
The place was full of people, and we ultimately ended up grabbing a spot that wasn’t in the corner but wasn’t in the center of the room either.
We drank our coffee and chatted while I rocked my son’s car seat with my foot as he slept. But before too long, his eyes started to blink awake and his mouth opened, lips puckering slightly. I scooped him up, unclipped the strap of my tank top, and pulled the open sleeve of my shirt to the side. He latched easily and nuzzled into my body. Everything was okay.
Every single time after that wasn’t always as smooth, but I continued to feed my son wherever I went. Like most aspects of motherhood, I learned different things along the way.
Being in public doesn’t have to take away from the experience
For me, breastfeeding is one of the most intimate acts between mother and child. Especially in the early days, it would leave me in awe of this wonderful life I created and continued to nourish. When he latched, an overwhelming feeling of rightness settled in my soul. When I think back to that first time nursing him in public: it didn’t matter that there was a room full of people talking and laughing, people who could see us. At that moment, it was just me and him.
It can be hard
Just because something is natural does not mean it isn’t difficult at times. Breastfeeding is no exception whether you’re nursing your baby in your own home or out in public. For example, the second time I nursed in public was at a high school basketball game. I was confident after having such a positive experience at the coffee shop, but in this instance, sitting in the stands of a crowded gym, it was hard. There was so much noise and commotion, yet it felt as if his cry was echoing all over the gym and drawing extra attention.
He wouldn’t latch, and I was leaking all over the place. His little mouth kept slipping off, and he would cry more (which made me leak more). I was so flustered and anxious. In reality, it only took a few minutes to get him latched properly, but it felt like an entirety.
It was tough. But like most things, with time and practice, it got easier.
A cover wasn’t for me
In the beginning, I debated using a cover. I even bought one. But as I tested it out at home, nothing about it felt right. It felt constricting and took away from the closeness I usually experienced. It also wasn’t as easy to get a cover on and latch a crying baby at the same time as the picture on the box made it out to be.
I still have the cover in the diaper bag, but now it is just used as an extra burp cloth.
Not as many people care as you might think
Are there still people who care about a woman breastfeeding her child in public? I’m sure. Are they in the majority? I don’t think so.
I’ve nursed my son in so many different places and have not experienced someone approaching me with a negative comment. Some people avoid looking at us, and some give me questionable looks. But the only comments I’ve received have been positive and encouraging. I’ve heard horror stories of women being shamed and chastised, and I’m so grateful I did not let those stories stop me from feeding my son when I needed to. Now I’ve done it long enough that if someone did have something negative to say, I’d be confident enough to stick up for my right to nurse my child.
It’s all about a perspective shift
In the beginning, there was a certain level of exposure I felt nursing in public. I was using a part of my body that has been sexualized by society for so long that it was difficult to shift my mindset from “I’m flashing the world” to “I’m feeding my child.” But the more I nursed in public (and nursed in general), the more my perspective started shifting. I thought of my breasts less as something to be ogled by strangers and more as a source of nourishment for my son. Motherhood, I’m realizing, is all about adjusting my point of view and expectations. This was no exception.
Nursing in public has just been one stop on my breastfeeding journey. But it’s an important one because it taught me the empowerment that comes from pushing through fear and anxiety to provide for my child. I don’t know how long I will continue to breastfeed my son, but I do know that we will continue to nurse wherever we want till that time comes.
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