It’s good to have goals. 

It’s great to strive for new experiences, to grow your business, run that marathon, get out of debt. But it’s NOT okay to rob yourself of the little moments that make life magical in the process. Because when it’s all said and done, those little moments, often lost in hindsight, are what make up the true montage of your life. Those little moments are why you strive, yearn, and ache for more. Those little moments are what fill your heart with peace in moments of peril. Maybe, those little moments aren’t so little after all. 

We tend to get caught up in a never ending loop of self-improvement, but when was the last time you allowed yourself to exist at this instant, holding space for this real-time version of yourself, acknowledging that she is already whole? Without needing more money, smaller jeans, or a spotless house. When was the last time you lost yourself in the kind of shrieking laughter that comes from the pit of your stomach? You know the one; you hear it in your children often. Once upon a time, that child was you, but somewhere along the line, that laughter got drowned out by fear, uncertainty, and doubt.

Now reflect upon this notion. What if we didn’t feel like our ambition and achievements defined our value to our communities, families, and ourselves? But instead, life was about who we are and not what we do. What if we could find a way to balance these feelings of initiative with an innate sense of self-love? Why aren’t we capable of softening into our own bodies, seeking out our very spirit, and saying, “I love you. I believe in you. You’re safe,” just as we do to the ones we love? 

Goals take time to accomplish, but living and loving yourself at this very moment is available to you now. Happiness is something that you are worthy of today and every day. Happiness doesn’t care how you look, what you do, or who you know. Happiness doesn’t waver with your bank account. Happiness is here now, and it’s yours to keep if only you would be so bold as to grab it and never let go. 

Maybe it’s time to rethink what the word success implies. Perhaps the true meaning of success is striving to become the best version of yourself, without losing sight of the fact that the best version of yourself knows that you’re still worthy of love, just the way you are. The best version of yourself that sees you in all your messy imperfection, moments of heartache and fumbling failures, and still says, “You are admirable. You are cherished. You are held.”

So this holiday season, I challenge you to reclaim your wholeness. Eat the food that fills your heart with the fondest memories of warmth and family. Drink the spirits that make your mouth and soul sing in whatever perfect or imperfect pitch you can manage. Let the dishes pile up in exchange for an extra hour of dancing around the house with your kids. And do it unapologetically, without the lingering guilt that has limited these moments in the past. It’s time to let your inner child come out and play the way she once did, with that frivolous laughter and a heart full of love. Because that inner child is still there, and she needs to be nurtured too.